watch out for those babies...

So I once heard that if you have a child under two, you are on suicide watch whenever they are awake. I thought this was a strange comment until I started to pay attention to what Claire did and how often I "saved her" from herself. This morning Claire was playing in my room with the curtains. Anna came in and said,"no, Claire". Now this baby is my tantrum kid and does not like hearing the word "no" directed at her. She flung herself on the floor, connecting with a sickening thwack, her head with the nightstand. Instantly she had a purple/blue/greenish egg on her forehead and started screaming. I comforted her and shortly after placed her in the high chair for breakfast. Her sister was feeding her blueberries and decided it might be fun to slip her an over sized grape, about 4 times bigger than the norm. It instantly lodged in her throat and I had to do the finger sweep. 30 minutes later, I was taking a shower with the baby in her bath chair. I closed my eyes to rinse my hair and heard her coughing and choking. I instantly looked down at the baby who was pouring the entire contents of the pitcher we use to rinse the kids' hair, on her face, trying to drink it. My eyes began to burn from the soap running into my eyes, which I tried to ignore to save my child. My idea of heaven?...those 5 instantly quiet seconds you get when you shut the door after buckling the kids in and you can no longer hear their bickering, whining, or crying, before getting in yourself. Ahhh heaven.

more "minus mark" mayhem

Night number 2 at grandma's went a little like this. Uncle Jordan drops girls off (Hailey and Skyla) hungry, tired, slightly sunburned, and a little grumpy. I fix them zucchini fritters while asking Uncle Jim to watch Claire, which even with the best intentions is about as helpful as asking Claire to prepare a trifle for dessert. Although Uncle can "watch" her, he can't pick her up. So he can "watch" her pull the bird cage on her head or crawl out the door into traffic, but it really is not very useful. After dinner the girls are tired so I put Claire into her crib and once she's asleep put Hailey and Skyla in Claire's room in sleeping bags on the floor. Since Skyla has no sleeping bag, she has to use Anna's and Anna sleeps with Grandma. At 6 am the fun begins. Skyla and Hailey wake up the baby and since she didn't get enough sleep is a grouchy bear. As I'm feeding her, I hear whimpering and when I look up Anna is sidling toward me with tears. I asked what was wrong and she said she accidentally peed in grandma's bed (Sweet, wonderful). After some shopping, helping clean up, packing kids up, I finally leave. I drive to Corvallis to feed the dog, get more supplies, and then drive to Grandma Bonnie's. Upon getting there and waking up the kids to unload them, I realize Anna has peed in her carseat. After cleaning her up and unloading diapers, clothes, hats, sunblock, etc. I have to dismantle her carseat and wash everything. The next day after a leisurely walk to the local park and some playing in the water, Hailey began to complain of a headache. She lay down on the couch to rest. I went in to check on her just in time to hear her puke all over Grandma Bonnie's couch. She puked once more in the car on the way home (am I having fun yet?) and fell asleep on the couch at home. I put her in bed with me and at 2am I heard Anna crying, went in to check on her and she had peed the bed. I changed the bed put her on Hailey's bed and went back to bed. The next morning at 6 am Hailey started puking again. At about 9am my parents stopped by to borrow the canoe and all lines of Hell intersected for about 15 minutes in my house. As I dug through our "O so organized storage" I heard Hailey whimpering on the couch. She asked me to snuggle with her but the baby who was woken up early was crying in her crib. At that very moment Anna started screaming Mama I'm done wipe me. I went in to get Claire and her diaper was also poopy. Poop and puke, oh my favorite. Later we went to the doc who said Hailey had a virus (I love hearing that, I know it's not their fault and their the experts here, but 98.9% of the time whatever is ailing the kids is a virus) We raced home so I could get ready for a job interview, left Papa Bill with some instructions, put the kids down for a nap, and left. I was not as shining (well maybe with sweat) as usual and when I returned home Hailey had woken up from her nap and was 100% better. Now as long as no one else pukes, pees the bed or tries to injure themselves I will be very happy...and boy is Mark gonna get an earful when he gets home. I bet he'll wish he would have been gone for 20 days instead of 10 when he sees what's in store for him.

whoa is me...

So my husband Mark, thought it would be a great idea to go backpacking for 10 days and leave me at home with three small children. Although I wasn't too thrilled with this prospect I thought it will be nice for him to get away after all he does for us and since he didn't go last year because of my pregnancy and restaurant I felt I had to support him in this endeavor. That was until he left...
Thursday he drove to his dad's house and I drove to Eugene to stay with my grandma and great uncle for 2 nights. I love spending time with them so I didn't think twice. Well the first night started out wonderfully...at least until 2 am. Uncharacteristically, Claire decided to wake up and just be awake for 2 hours. She has never been awake in the middle of the night for more than about 20 minutes even as a newborn so you can imagine my surprise and dismay. I knelt down next to her playpen and rubbed her back. As I rubbed her back I leaned my head on the edge of the crib and tried to get as comfortable as possible on an inch wide, metal pillow. The baby lay down and after about 5 minutes, hearing that her breathing was very regular, I sat back on my heels trying to decide if I should sneak out of the room or lay down on the floor. At this moment the baby popped up and began to look around. I got back up on my knees, laid her back down, and stroked her back once again. After I was sure she was asleep I stopped rubbing her back and looked down at her. She appeared to be asleep in every way. Eyes closed, steady rythmic breathing, twitching momentarily. The second I sat back on my heels up popped her head. We continued this lovely middle of the night tango until I heard my grandma's 42 clocks begin chiming (I'm not kidding, I think actually we've counted 60 clocks, but only 42 of them chime, which you can imagine can be so conducive while trying to get a baby to sleep). I heard 4 chimes and I guess 4 am is Claire's limit and she fell almost instantly asleep. Instead of risking waking her up I decided to lay down on the carpet and sleep there. It wasn't as bad as I imagined...70's shag carpet is surprisingly comfortable...