Lesson 2

Lesson number 2 involves my ass...my ass that I keep forgetting has grown a size (or two) since having 3 kids. I was at story time in Monroe with Trevor, Anna, and Claire. At this particular story time snack was passed out (I know right? Snack at the library? Usually they don't even allow water.) The kids began happily munching on their animal crackers and honed in to the book as never before eagerly anticipating each new story introduction. As the last of the stories was being read, Anna asked for more crackers, and when I informed her that there were no more she seemed content to listen to the story until her 3 year old eagle eyes spotted her younger sister's cup o' drooled upon and soggy crackers. She could tell Claire was done and asked if she could have them. I said are you sure you want these nasty things. She said yes, took the crackers, and re-focused her attention on the librarian. Story time had come to an end and the story teller told all the children that she had a free book bag with book marks for every child. Two words: pandemonium and chaos! All the children at story time came rushing forward and since we were a foot away from the librarian, I had to snatch Claire up off the floor before she was trampled by 20 crazed kids. In the process my rather well endowed behind came in direct contact with Anna's face sending her flying as well as her newly attained (albeit soggy) crackers. Cookies exploded everywhere, trampled into the carpet, landed on mom's who exclaimed, "oh gross" and subsequently dropped them into the garbage can, and near other children who quickly gobbled them up. Devastated does not even begin to describe Anna's state of mind. Sobs that shook her to the core enveloped her body and then she began this cat like yowl that I was unsure of what orifice it was being emitted from. She repeated over and over again "my crackers, my crackers" as I drug her to the car. If you know Anna this was very odd behavior for her and I couldn't quite understand why she was so upset until I realized that that morning in a rush to get out the door she had eaten a strawberry and bite of bagel for breakfast. Do I win Mother of the Year award yet?